Gods of Egypt: What the hell is THIS?

Just what is Gods of Egypt? I have no earthly notion, but let’s puzzle through this fascinating trailer anyway.

Man alive, it’s like someone rebuilt 300 using deleted scenes from Transformers: Beast Wars. I’m usually enjoy ridiculous goofy action movies, but this looks different. Gods of Egypt seems to have the makings of legendary train wreck… and I am always up for a front row seat to one of those. Let’s try to unpack what the hell we just watched:

thatsgood1It stars Gerard “Head Stabber” Butler.

thatsgood2That’s good!

thatsgood3In a cast full of white folks playing Egyptians.

thatsgood6That’s bad.

thatsgood7It’s from the director of The Crow and Dark City.

thatsgood2That’s good!

thatsgood7But it looks like the world’s most hilarious Dreamcast game.

thatsgood1That’s probably pretty damn bad.

thatsgood9Can I go, now?