The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Death Ever

After the accidental gold of Minority Report, I was reminded of my favorite awkward television moment of all time. It comes from a British show called Wire in the Blood.

Here’s the IMDB description:

A psychologist gets inside of the minds of both killers and victims to aid the police in solving gruesome serial killings in Northern England.

Wire in the Blood is a popular show that’s technically still going. It’s basically the UK’s equivalent to CSI. This is a deadly serious show. People absolutely love this thing. I never thought much of it, outside of this one scene.

To set the scene: this cop was kidnapped by a gay cross-dressing serial killer. Guess how he is murdered?

That’s right, with a chair that turns you into a cartoon and then fires a cone up your ass.

Hilarious. Again, this is from the first episode. From 2002. Here’s another, more detailed look at that incredible 3D model:


You probably have some thoughts and questions about this video. I sure did, but now I prefer my brother’s reaction:

“It’s like the killer looked at the footage after he just murdered a man with a cone in the butt, and said: ‘You know what? This is in bad taste. Kids might see this.”

So he built a CG recreation. It probably took hundreds of hours. This video was probably finished weeks after this man’s butt was coned. The cops were probably on a completely different case by this point.”

I’m reasonably sure that we’re actually supposed to be seeing this crazy butt coning thing happen, but the weird wireframe man was added to censor it from our delicate eyes. But I want to believe in my brother’s dream.

While we’re here, let’s slap Guile’s theme on it. Just to see if it works:

Of course it works. That may be an ancient Internet joke at this point, but dammit, it still makes me giggle.

This could very well be the video to dethrone the current “Worst Death Scene Ever” champion:

I can’t decide. I love them both too much. The “Surprise! Still more shooting!” aspect of that one is still so great. But Cone-in-the-Butt’s transformation into a wireframe man still gets me.

Anyway. Wire in the Blood. 2002. You’re welcome.